PEEP!

I'd heard a lot about her before I'd ever laid eyes - or ears on her.

Meet Lucy. She's an eleven year-old African Gray Parrot and she belongs to Frank.

She is demanding inquisitive, stubborn persistent, a smart-ass clever and LOUD melodic. She connives cajoles, mimics belches and farts sounds like a human, has jaws which bite like a steel trap nibbles fingers and PEEPS peeps. Perhaps you need to understand the real meaning of "PEEP."

Dictionary.com defines peep as: "to utter the short, shrill little cry of a young bird, a mouse,etc.; cheep; squeak" or "to speak in a thin, weak voice."

They've got the short and shrill part just fine but there's nothing little, thin or weak about Lucy's voice. And there are a number of descriptive words which I would have added to the definition, such as "deafening, eardrum-piercing and unbelievably irritating."

Among her many talents, Lucy is a groomer. Frank's beard would be really unruly without her ministrations.

Imagine being on a different floor of a large house, behind closed doors, shower running, water pelting down on your head, and this incessant "PEEP," delivered every three to five seconds, still manages to bore itself into the core of your brain as if you're sharing space with a dying smoke detector. That's how to define Lucy's PEEP.

Lucy attended dental school where she learned how to be a hygienist.

Aside from that, she's a wonderful bird. She only PEEPS peeps like that when she's missing Frank. Sometimes he travels far distances (like upstairs, or out on the deck) and she just can't cope with his absence so she PEEPS until he's back in her sight. You can't blame a girl for missing her man from time to time.

If you offer her a bath, which consists of showering her with a watery mist from a spray bottle, she'll dance and bob around with anticipation. If she doesn't bite the offered finger, she'll often step up onto a loving hand for a bit of time away from her cage. She'll usually climb up onto a shoulder and hope that you'll feel sorry for her and perhaps produce a peanut from your pocket.

In her spare time, Lucy enjoys mountain climbing. Photo credit goes to Frank.

Lucy is very intelligent, as most birds appear to be (we won't mention mourning doves). She has quite an extensive vocabulary of human words, sounds, other bird calls and the occasional inanimate object. I've heard Lucy call out Frank's #1 Son's name as dinner time draws near. She almost always calls out his #2 Son's name when the phone rings because the call is usually for him. Enter the kitchen, and she'll imitate the sound of the microwave beeps. Open the refrigerator door and Lucy will oblige you with the perfect, metallic sound of a soda pop can being opened.

As with other members of the family, Lucy takes her turn washing dishes.

If voices are raised excitedly, she adds some lively gibberish to the conversation. The most common phrases (among very many) I've heard her utter are "Wanna peanut?" or "Wanna chip?" which is her request for anything edible, preferably a peanut, pumpkin seed or a piece of fruit. After that, "Night-night" would have to rank up there. This is Lucy's cue that she's had enough of the world around her and would like to be covered up so she can go to sleep.

Do you ever get that sinking feeling?

At the end of the day, when Lucy calls for "Night-night," Frank goes to her cage, gives her head some rubs, offers up her last peanut and tucks her in for a peaceful slumber. Enjoy the quiet because when Lucy decides that you've had enough of it... PEEP!

Help!

There's so much more to tell about Lucy, and Frank has written about her extensively before. If you ask him nicely, he might let you have a peanut read about his life with this bossy little bird.

Thank you to everyone who played along with the "Caption This" photo of Benny and friend in yesterday's post. All of your amusing remarks have now been released and appear in the comments section below yesterday's post. You folks are fun!