Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Pints and Half-Pints

Over the years, our street has seen its share of difficult and unusual neighbours. Like most residential areas, we've had the codger who has called the police over urgent issues such as kids playing basketball or street hockey. We've seen those who literally could not mend fences due to opposing tastes. There used to be people next door to me who played their music so loudly that the mirror on my connecting wall would vibrate - at four in the morning. We still have one post-middle-aged male who has spent most of his summers walking or biking around, dressed in nothing more than a Speedo. And yes, it looks as ridiculous as it sounds.

Ours is a very transient area and most of our colourful characters have moved on, but one of my neighbours gives me great concern. Don't get me wrong - he has a very lovable personality. With his engaging smile and flirty eye contact, he has endeared himself to the women, and even the men on our street. Although new to the area, he has become a welcomed part of our regular get-togethers, but during these events it has come to my attention that he clearly has a serious drinking habit.

Despite his obvious charm, he can be loud, demanding, and at times has been known to show a significant temper. The young couple with whom he resides seem to be unconcerned with his frequent liquid dinners, lunches and even breakfasts. Like the rest of us, they have become quite enchanted with him and so they turn a bit of a blind eye.

We all pretend not to notice when he lets out a loud belch or fart, and we're all too polite to complain about how he sometimes eases his way through the women in the crowd, in hopes that he can land a subtle grope at a nearby breast. We don't really mind. We all know that he'll soon imbibe his next fix and pass out shortly afterward - a trickle of drool running down his face. All too frequently, he's been carried home and put to bed in just that state.

In spite of my concerns, I have big hopes that our neighbour will cut back on his excessive drinking one day. Right now he appears oblivious to anything edible that is spread out before him when we congregate for barbecues and planned parties, but I believe that our charismatic friend will eventually come around. I know he's worth the wait.

Just take one look at his big, blue eyes and tell me I'm wrong.

He's 7 weeks old and his name is Winston Ripley: Believe it or not!

He's at the pint of no return.

The ladybug is courtesy of Photoshop. The beer bottle was not.

More Photoshop fun. This blue pattern used to be Mom Erin's shoulder.

Winston appears to be a bit concerned about the camera. Or perhaps it's the fake backgrounds I keep giving him.


Frank Baron said...

I'm jealous. Not only is he better looking than me but he gets way more action.


Crabby McSlacker said...

You totally had me going. I had to go back and reread, and fair is fair--it totally worked both ways.

Those pictures are so incredibly adorable! I don't even like babies all that much in real life (though I pretend to of course, I'm not totally socially retarded) but this little guy looks like a real charmer.

Hilary said...


True, but at least you don't poop in your pants.. yet.. that I know of.


He is indeed adorable and I bet you'd fall for him in a heartbeat. Beneath that crusty shell...

Nita said...

Aw, too cute. The baby and your post. You are too talented with that photo shop stuff too. Bet Frank and Crabby were that cute once.

Anonymous said...

This young is the best looking guy l have seen in a long time. l am
afraid he comes by his drinking habits honestly as his mother at that age loved the bottle too.

Hilary said...

Hi Nita,

Of course Frank and Crabby were that cute once.. then I Photoshopped them and they became adorable!

Hi Lois/Winston's Nana!

He's the cutest I've seen in a long while too (aside from Photoshopped Frank and Crabby, that is). Thanks for stopping by! :)

Kappa no He said...

Baby farts are so adorable and forgivable. But once he gets off that bottle and starts eating meat...totally another matter. Ha ha. What a cutie!

Kelley said...

roflmao. that was great. :) and he's so adorable.

Hilary said...

Kappa no he,

Forgivable baby farts! That's so cute and so true. Thanks for the visit.

Twizzly Kelley,

I'm glad you enjoyed it and I couldn't agree more about how adorable he is.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE this post, Hilary. Just darling -- tbe post AND the baby!